Turn it Off!

Not a very popular idea among teens and even children....the idea....turning off your electronics: tvs, computers, video games and even cell phones.  This might not even be a popular idea among you parents either.  So far this year I have been putting a lot of thought and time in reading articles and studies about the role electronics play in our lives.  I will admit, I am lover of technology just like you, so this will be a stretch for myself.  It turns out that while our technology has made our lives very efficient and better overall, it is also starting to have negative effects.  Some of those, are increased levels of stress, anxiety, depression, and burnout.  I also hear more complaints from parents about kids spending hours and hours in front of tvs, computers and video games.  Amazingly enough I also hear kids state their parents spend more and more time in front of these same devices.  If kids are spending that time and parents are spending that time, where is time to spend on relationships and family.  I recently read about a mom who completely shut off all tvs, computers, vidoe games and even limited cell phone usage.  Do you know what happened?  The kids grades increased, they read more, started new things like playing instruments, and seemed overall in better moods.  Wow, what a difference!  I know what you are thinking, "isnt that a bit extreme?"  I would agree.  However, it proves a point that our overuse and addiction (yes I said it, addiction) to technology is influencing us negatively.
Your kids and family will push against this, but remember, you are the parent.  Teach them why and remember that teaching stays with them forever.

Questions to consider:
1) How many hours, days, weeks are we as a family on all of our devices (computers, tv, video games, cell phones?)  (This may be difficult because many times we are not even aware we are using the technology)
2) Can I reduce the amount of time these devices take up in our family life?
3) What are things I/we can do to fill the gaps when we are not using technology?
4)

Touch Me

Your child and or teen just might be asking you to do that.
In society today we have become over sensitive to the human touch, we have sexualized it.  There are many times in todays world where touch can be wrong and dirty, however, I believe we have taken things too far.  I see so many families where touch does not happen and the kids are almost begging to be loved in that way.  A hug, an arm around the shoulder, a pat on the head, a back rub, even a kiss.  These are all ways, appropriate ways, to show our children we love them.  Not only is it appropriate, it is a need.  God created us to be touched by one another.  Study after study has shown that touch is important, if not vital, not only infants, but also children, teens and adults.  Because of our fallen nature we have made touch a negative thing.  I know many people have had negative experiences involving touch, and that is unfortunate.  Because it is such a sensitive issue, I ask that if you have questions regarding appropriate touch with children, teens and family members, send me an e-mail or call my office for help. 

Questions to consider:

1) Are there ways I can add appropriate touch to my daily interactions with my children and family?
2) Do I have issues with touch because of abuse or negative situation in my life?
3) Do my children and teens understand the importance and boundaries of touch?

New Year

Let me start off by saying, Happy New Year!!  I am sure I am not the first or the last that will tell you that, but it is fact, it is the new year and I am hoping its a happy one.  One of the biggest things people tend to think about when the new year rolls around are resolutions.  People ask, "so have you made any new years resolutions?"  I am thinking about forgetting that word this year.  The reason, you may ask, is that it seems the term new years resolutions is equated with failure.  Many people who make resolutions seem to fail, not long after the new year really gets into full swing.  Why is that?  I believe there are a couple things that sabatoge those new promises of change.  1)  People tend to give themselves too much credit and shoot for goals that either are too hard, or too hard to sustain.  Its just a new year, so that means most things are the same, just because a new year rolls around doesnt make things any easier.  Start small and let the process help things to grow.  I believe slow and steady will work here.  2)  People dont spend the time thinking through the change, feeling it out, giving thought to what it really means.  Have you researched the change your going to make?  How much time, energy, strife, etc. is it going to take.  How are the people around me going to deal with the changes?  I believe the more you are prepared the more you can invest at being successful at your resolution. 3)  Focusing on the long term, trying to take the first day of the year and compare it to the last is very difficult and not very motivating.  Start with small mini goals of days, then weeks, then months.  By the time you know it, the end of the year will be upon us again.  4)  Lastly, striving for perfection.  If you try to be perfect you will fail and you will lose any and all motivation to continue.  Allow yourself some wiggle room so that if you fail, you dont fail over and over and over again and give up.
I am proposing losing the term resolution altogether.  How about change, goals, habits!  Those are all everyday things we can do to make the things happen in our lives that we really want.